A surprising number of leaders struggle with blame-shifting and a victim mentality. Don’t be one of those guys.
Blame-shifting is the kryptonite of accountability and accountability is the cornerstone of productivity.
Blame-shifting means that you refuse to acknowledge your own role in the decisions and actions that lead to poor outcomes and failure. The victim mentality will tell you that it’s always the fault of someone or something else.
The Agency Equation
When you play the blame game, you rob yourself of your own power and agency. It says that you have no control, and that people and forces beyond you are always at fault when you fall short. You steal your own power this way, diminishing your own belief in your ability to make an impact. You can’t take credit for victories without also taking responsibility for defeat.
While it may be true that there are things you cannot control, there’s plenty that you can. Both the choices to act – or not to act – rest on your shoulders.
5 Steps to Owning Up as a Leader
1) Take Personal Responsibility
None of us like making mistakes. We don’t like being blame, feeling like failures, or being embarrassed. But here’s the thing, leader: you’re different. You don’t get to dodge blame. You don’t get to pass off mistakes. Because you are the leader, the buck starts and stops with you. Even if you did not directly or personally make a mistake, you are responsible for your team and their work.
Your team’s failure is your failure. Their victory is your victory. You can’t separate the two. When you shift blame to your team or to outside forces, it shakes confidence and erodes trust. Don’t be the kind of leader who sews dissent through blame.
Take the L for your team and work to rectify the mistakes.
2) Recognize Your Role
By now, you know that being a leader is not about being the king of your own personality domain. Not unless you believe that “heavy is the head that wears the crown,” that is! You have responsibility on your shoulders.
Your role isn’t just idea guy, check signer, pep talker, or disciplinarian. No, you are the person who shapes the culture and behavior of your team. You set the expectations and standards. You model what you want to see. Your role is to be there alongside your team, getting your hands dirty while also cultivating expectations – for interpersonal work relationships, company etiquette, the level of work, and mission. If you start playing the victim, you will never be able to effectively steer the ship.
3) Acknowledge Flaws and Shortcomings
You don’t know everything. I don’t know everything. If you are unable to recognize your own flaws, if you never believe that you can be wrong, you will be an ineffective leader. Leadership is a growth process. If you think you’re already the best, you can’t grow and you can’t lead well.
Start by acknowledging that you don’t always have the right answers. Once you do, you will open yourself up to receiving constructive criticism with grace and dignity, accepting responsibility, listening and collaborating effectively, and growing both personally and professionally.
4) Change Your Language
How you talk about yourself and your actions plays a role in your perceived agency and thus, your responsibility. Avoid saying “I had to,” or other phrases that assume you have no choice in matters. There is always a choice. You have agency and autonomy. This takes power back
5) Push Past Failure
Part of what causes blame-shifting is a fear of failure. Again, we don’t want to be seen as stupid, ineffective, or bad at our jobs. However, we have to recognize that failure isn’t just a natural part of life, but it is a necessary one. Failure is part of being refined in the fire. It teaches us what does and does not work, clarifies our direction moving forward, and lends added experience to our lives.
Allow failure to sharpen your skillset and move forward.
Recognize that some of the greatest entrepreneurs, innovators, and CEOs got to where they are by failing…and failing often. The only shame you have to worry about is the shame of letting failure stop you.
Perhaps you need to move in a new direction, change your tactics, or try again with a fresh strategy – but don’t quit. The only real failure is letting these things stop you in your tracks.
Set the example – someone who takes on responsibility, good and bad, and moves forward with enthusiasm and determination regardless of the circumstances.
How do you handle failure effectively? Share in the comments!