Self-sabotage is a common behavior. We’ve all been guilty of it at some point, whether in our relationships, career, or inner self. Self-sabotage refers to behaviors and patterns that hinder you from achieving your full potential. These habits may not lead to loss or failure, but they prevent you from thriving.
So what are some classic, tell-tale signs of self-sabotage? Here are a few examples to watch for…and how to stop perpetuating the pattern of self-defeat!
7 Self-Sabotaging Behaviors (And How to Stop Them)
Behavior #1 – All-or-Nothing Thinking
Binary, black-and-white thinking holds us back. What I mean by this is the temptation to see things only in terms of success or failure, all good or wholly bad. This eliminates nuance, and nuance is essential for growth and meaningful analysis. Avoid the temptation to write off anything based on the perception of success or failure.
Even the ventures that didn’t go as well as you’d expect have merit. If anything, you can take your experiences and learn from them to develop improved systems for the future. Look for the good in “bad” things and the “bad” in good things. You’ll be better equipped to evaluate objectively and eliminate your blind spots.
Behavior #2 – Blame-Shifting
It’s so easy to point the finger at anyone and everything but ourselves. Absolving yourself of responsibility for failures, though, isn’t helpful. While you may temporarily avoid the heat, you will miss the opportunity to improve yourself – and prevent the same mistakes. While it’s true that you are seldom to sole contributor to your circumstances, you are there. You play a role. Things don’t happen to you but with your active participation.
Don’t be a victim of circumstance. You remove your own agency and ability to succeed.
Behavior #3 – Ignoring Red Flags
Reg flags aren’t just for relationships, though they apply in this case. Red flags can come from a disreputable business partner, a risky move, the beginnings of a physical injury, or interpersonal relationships. Beware of things that sway you to compromise your boundaries and principles. Listen to your body and take care of it. Refuse to tolerate demeaning language and abusive behavior.
Behavior #4 – Trading Your Future for Short-Term Gains
We’re a people of instant gratification. This isn’t a surprise given the instantaneous nature of the world today. With that said, you perform self-sabotage when short-sighted. This can take the form of cutting corners, skipping necessary steps, or bypassing due diligence to get the desired results. You may receive short-term satisfaction, but you miss long-term stability.
Behavior #5 – Negative Self-Talk
If you were to list your most significant influences in life, who would make the cut? Would you put yourself on the list? You should! No one talks to you more than you do. The way you relate to yourself matters. If you’re constantly reinforcing the idea that you are inadequate, ill-equipped, or otherwise doomed to fail, you will never take necessary risks or have the confidence to aim big. Don’t be the voice that prevents you from reaching your potential.
Behavior #6 – Procrastination
Procrastination is rarely as simple as laziness. Often, procrastination is a byproduct of perfectionism. We put things off until the last minute because we feel overwhelmed or unable to do something “right.” Because we fear falling short, we don’t act at all. Obviously, this can lead to undue stress and pressure. It also stops you from trying new things!
Unlearning perfectionism is a brutal process – so start by sharpening your time management skills.
Behavior #7 – Total Self-Reliance
Our culture bombards us with the idea that we must be self-reliant, self-sufficient, and self-made. These ideals may seem admirable, but they don’t reflect the truth of human nature. We need other people. These ingrained principles may prevent you from expressing your needs or reaching out for help and support – things we all need!
It takes a powerful person to recognize the need for other people. Don’t be fooled – self-reliance is never the secret to success. There are always countless collaborators, encouragers, mentors, and colleagues that made it all happen.
Start by knowing yourself, namely your strengths and weaknesses. This helps you identify where you need help. From there, express those needs to your support system, whether in your career or personal life!
What patterns of behavior have you strived to change? Share how you did it in the comments.