I used to think work-life balance was something I was supposed to achieve. If I just worked hard enough, planned well enough, or optimized my calendar correctly, I'd finally reach a state where everything received equal attention, and nothing fell through the cracks.
That was exhausting…and it never really worked, either.
The problem with "balance" is that it implies everything should always receive equal weight. That on any given Tuesday, my five kids, my responsibilities at REI Nation, my training for the next ultra, my nonprofit efforts, and my marriage should all receive the same focus and energy.
That's not balance; that's a recipe for mediocrity across the board.
After years of trying to make it work, I’ve come to this conclusion: balance isn't the goal. Integration is.
What Work-Life Integration Actually Looks Like
Integration means recognizing that different seasons of life—and even different weeks—require different allocations of your time and energy.
Some weeks, REI Nation needs more of me because we're closing a major deal or working through a challenge with the team. Other weeks, my wife needs me to be present for a conversation that can't be rescheduled. And sometimes, my training demands more attention because I've committed myself to a race that requires consistency.
The difference is that I'm not trying to slice my day into perfect thirds. I'm asking myself: what needs me most right now?
When my youngest was born, my mileage dropped. I didn't stop running, but I wasn't logging 50-mile weeks either. That wasn't failure, that was integration. The season required something different from me.
When I was training for the Keys 100, my mornings looked different. I was out the door early, sometimes for hours, because that's what the goal demanded. But I wasn't trying to pretend that it was sustainable year-round or that it didn't require tradeoffs elsewhere.
The Question Nobody Wants to Answer
What makes integration challenging is that it forces you to be honest about priorities. Not the priorities you wish you had or the ones that sound good in a LinkedIn post, but the real ones that show up in how you actually spend your time.
If someone audited your calendar for the last month, would it reflect what you say matters most?
I ask myself this regularly, and the answer isn't always comfortable. There have been times when I've let work consume me more than it should have. Times when I've been physically present with my family but mentally still at the office. That's not integration, that's distraction wearing a disguise.
The fix isn't trying to achieve perfect balance. It's being intentional about where you are and what you're doing when you're there.
What Work-Life Integration Requires:
Accept that you can't do everything at once.
This may sound obvious, but most of us act as if we can. We stack commitments, say yes to everything, and then feel guilty when something gets less attention than we think it deserves.
2. Communicate what season you're in.
My wife Michelle knows when I'm in a heavy training block. My team at REI Nation knows when I need to be home for something that matters. That transparency removes the pressure to pretend I'm everywhere at once.
3. Let go of the idea that every day needs to look the same.
Some mornings, I'm running five miles before the sun comes up. On other mornings, I make breakfast with my kids. Both matter. Neither one is the "right" way to start the day. The context determines what's needed.
Your Practical Solution for Effective Priority Integration
I don't aim for balance. I aim for presence.
When I'm at work, I'm at work. When I'm running, I'm running. When I'm home, I'm home. That doesn't mean I never think about one thing while doing another, but it does mean I'm not trying to split my attention across everything simultaneously.
Some weeks are heavy on business. Some weeks are heavy on family. Some weeks, I log serious miles. The goal isn't to make every week identical; it's to ensure that, over the course of a month, a quarter, or a year, the things that matter most are getting what they need.
And that’s what actually works.
How do you manage competing priorities without burning out? Share your approach—I'm always learning from others who are figuring this out too.